Week 5 – A Journey To The Past (5/7)

In my previous blog posts, I talked about what I witnessed in my past-life-regression, in which I saw myself as a little girl who dressed like a maid with a white apron in a mansion. I left the mansion and then I met a paperboy next to the fountain. I played with him for a while and then when he left, I followed him to the marketplace. After that, I met someone who was the same man (same soul) that I met in this life when I was a child…

Here, my story continues:

A Woman Who Claims That She Is My Mother
I want to go back to the big house. I send love to the old man, and say goodbye to him. I know that I will see him tomorrow. Now, I am in the bedroom of the big house. I am sitting on a chair in front of the window. From the small window I can only see clouds moving in the sky because the window is located above my eye level. I am just sitting here and doing nothing. I don’t like to work and I like to stay in the bedroom an entire day to avoid working. Once I step out of my bedroom I need to work. (I have a feeling that I work in the kitchen). No one in the house talks to me. I feel so alone and abandoned…

I’m with my teddy bear, lying on my bed, relaxing…

(long pause)

I get out of my bedroom and walk down the stairs. I come to a big open kitchen where I see many maids are working hardly. They are preparing food and cooking. I see one of the maids is wearing a dark green dress with a full-length apron over the dress. Next to the kitchen, there is a dining table where it is seated a bald man with a pair of round big eyes. He looks angry. I have no idea who he is…

I am back to my bedroom lying on my bed again… I see a woman standing next to my bed watching me. I don’t know who she is. She is wearing the same thing as the maids wear. So, I guess she is a maid too. She is telling me that she is my mother. I don’t believe her and I think silently that she can’t be my mother! I have no mother and father! I don’t know why I’m here and why I’m being left here. In this moment, I know what my name is – it is Lucy… The woman keeps telling me that she is my mother but I don’t believe her… Everyone in the house is a liar! I trust no one…except the old man … and the boy…

All of a sudden, the door opens, and the boy (the paperboy) brings a man in (a man with a dark suit) to my bedroom… Now, they are all standing next to my bed watching me…

…I bring that woman in a black dress (she looks like the woman with a parasol who I saw on the paved road) to the old man (the shoe repairman). As we are in front of the old man, the woman disappeared. The old man gives me some coins for me to buy food that I like. I am so happy to receive the coins… I walk away from him…

I am in my bedroom again. I am Cristina (current life) at the moment, facing opposite to Lucy (my previous life). I shift to first-person perspective as Cristina. At the suggestion of Dr. Teoh, I approach the little girl Lucy to send her love and help. Lucy refuses to accept any help from me. She pushes me away and she doesn’t want anyone to help her. She thinks that her life is a misery. For this reason, she wants Cristina, her future self, to be misery as well… She says she doesn’t know me at all and she wants me to go away.

With guide, Lucy feels that she is protected by white light. Now, I shift back to first-person perspective as Lucy, and Cristina is not here anymore. When I’m within the light, I suddenly receive information about Einstein. Everybody is talking about Einstein at that moment. He is famous and his photograph has been published on the newspapers… After awhile, I concentrate on Lucy again… I feel so safe in the light… I start to become mindly opened … and free of mistrusting people from the house… Now, many people are right in front of me, including the woman who claims to be my mother…

The maids tell me that she (the woman) is my mother! I get so emotional … and tears begin to flow unstoppably out of my eyes… Yes! … That’s right! She is my mother! I know it all now! She was weak and she was dead after giving birth to me. That is why I’m being left here in this big house. It wasn’t her choice to leave me and it wasn’t her fault!

I can’t stop crying… I know that she loved me so much! … Moreover … I recognize that she is the same mother in my current life!

The maids knew everything… They knew why I was here and who my parents were. They just didn’t want to tell me because they were afraid that I could get hurt to know the truth… They are not liar as I thought they were … They just wanted to protect me… All the maids, my mother and I are now all in the backyard. I visualize my mother goes into the light with joy and love… She is protected by light and I’m protected by white light as well… Everyone is watching her floating up to the sky, leaving us. My mother loves me so much. As she floats higher and higher, I pass my teddy bear to her to express that I love her…

(to be continued)

Previous post:
Part 1 – Maid
Part 2 – A Black Classic Car
Part 3 – A Newspaper Delivery Boy (Paperboy)
Part 4 – A Shoe Repairman (An Old Man)