Something to share in every single week throughout the year

Week 33 – The Moment of Now


A week ago, I woke up with an intense pain in my right shoulder. The pain didn’t go away and it gets worse the second day after applying several kinds of muscle pain relief creams. On the same day, rashes started to pop up on my right shoulder, also I started to have a very painful nerve feeling which runs up the top of my neck and inside my right ear in every 10 to 20 seconds. I can tell you that those nerve pains are really hard to bear. Not only constant burning feeling on the skin, but also, I would describe it as like stabbing or lightning like pain sensation under the skin and behind the ear.

The nerve pain remained for the other two days. I, finally, decided to see doctors. I went to see a physical therapist and a dermatologist at the same day. The dermatologist was the right doctor to see. The doctor didn’t need me to finish what I need to say and right away he knew what my problem was. Virus infected my nerve, and the cause was due to stress level increased dramatically. They infected all of my right shoulder, neck and the ear. 😦

I kept seeing the doctor in every two to four days. After taking the medicine, the pain was less intense, but the ugly “redness” kept coming out of my right shoulder and neck. I felt angry, sad and scared, cause it looked like they won’t stop coming out of my skin.

It must be my own attitude towards the high volume of works at work that is killing me. I burst into tears after coming home. I kept thinking about what had happened to me it is not acceptable. I wanted the “redness” to go away as fast as possible, and I wanted the nerve pain stop bothering me. I became so emotional. I cried most of the time when I think about that. I worried about it may not go away, and the worst, it may infect my inner ear and I will go deaf. I felt much painful (inside) when I think in that way, but I just couldn’t stop thinking the worst and my mind just couldn’t be quiet.

Then, I found a way to rest my mind. I sat on my bed meditating. During meditation, we have to keep our mind constantly focus on our breath, leave all the worries behind and just sense the moment of now. I did that several hours a day at home, and the result was awesome. I stop worrying about the things that may not going to occur in the future and stop asking myself why this is happening to me. All what I am thinking is that I still have a life. I still can walk, can talk, can listen and can enjoy life. So, why to worry. The tide of my emotion has comes down. The nerve pain stop and those ugly “redness” starts to fade away in the other day. I just realize how powerful the damage it would be if I keep thinking negatively. The constant worrying is harmful. Being too emotional would only make things even worse. It slows down or even blocks the healing process.

The right thing to do is to stay focus at the moment of now (and of course, keep taking anti-virus medicine and creams according to the prescription of the doctor). In the moment of now, I find that everything is just an illusion. The burdens of the past and the worries about the future dissolve instantly. Now, I don’t care about anything anymore, I’ve just learned to stay with the quietness of the moment of now. πŸ™‚

P.S.: I’m feeling better, and the doctor says it takes no longer than 2 to 3 weeks to recover the skin. πŸ˜€

Have a nice weekend!


21 responses

  1. Oh my happy little iSis, I am over the moon you have stopped worrying so much…of course about the inner ear and becoming deaf is a little beyond not worrying about but you defeated your small inner demon that was tormenting you…why? Maybe you were working too hard…maybe this…maybe that. Where did the virus come from…could have come from here…could have come from there…maybe maybe maybe.
    Maybe is but a hazy word most of the time but we seem to build and mold it into a huge tower and that tower of maybe’s then becomes a small city of ‘worry’ and we find it difficult to concentrate on anything but that worry that came from a maybe that then turned into a city of worry.
    Most times i just look around and here in China it is really not that difficult to right inner wrongs with out personal thinking. There’s a guy with no legs that has to live on a board with wheel and hope some people will just give him enough to eat this day. There’s what looks like a 90 year old woman squatting among bags of open trash putting plastic bottles in one pile, can in another, glass in a third, wood in a fourth etc. I don’t have cancer, I can see, unlike the guy I past yesterday feeling his way along a wall. I have the money to eat three meals a day and rest my head on a clean pillow at night.
    I am an entire healthy person and I can do anything I want simply if I don’t live in a city of worry that came from a single maybe. By this I don’t mean that people without legs can’t do anything because they compete in the Olympics, people who can’t see work, love and play, people who can’t hear can lip read or use sign language, but maybe if they moved into or never moved out of the city of worry, maybe they simply couldn’t.
    There are a million replies that people could scold me with…yes to do things one needs money and people to help them etc. I know this but this isn’t about ‘most of the above people’ its simply about you and I when we worry. We should just look around and be thankful for what we do have and you my iSister, you also have the power of meditation which many times helps a lot more than some of the drugs we are prescribed.
    Keep being awesome…miss you and Kungfu Ken!

    August 20, 2012 at 1:23 am

    • My Ibro, your words are deep. You’re like a spiritual healer and a guru. πŸ˜€ Thank you so much. You’ve made the sunshine in my heart again!

      August 21, 2012 at 7:14 pm

  2. Sorry that you went through that, it sounds truly awful but, glad to hear that you will be recovering soon, hope that you’re feeling much better already.

    August 20, 2012 at 4:36 am

    • At the beginning was really awful, so glad to see improvements in the second week. πŸ˜€
      Thanks for your support and caring. Thank you, Nigel. πŸ˜€

      August 21, 2012 at 7:09 pm

  3. cocomino

    Please take care. Glad to know that you felt better day by day.

    August 20, 2012 at 8:17 am

    • Thank you, Cocomino! πŸ˜€ With all the support, I will heal faster. So many thanks!

      August 21, 2012 at 7:05 pm

  4. That does not sound fun!!! I’m very sorry to hear about all of that – and as everyone else has said – I am very happy that you are feeling a bit better now, and I hope that you are completely recovered as soon as possible! And I hope you continue to have a little time to yourself to relax a bit more, too… things can get so hectic… and that sort of thing can really start to take a toll!

    August 20, 2012 at 11:11 pm

    • Thanks, Spilledinkguy. πŸ˜€ I’m doing better and better each day. The color of the affected area of the skin has changed to between dark red and purple. I hope they all turn into brown as soon as possilble, then fade. πŸ˜€

      August 21, 2012 at 7:04 pm

  5. Aww.. I’m so sorry about this and good thing that you have stopped worrying.. Worrying won’t erase the problem. Will be praying for you dear.. =D

    August 21, 2012 at 9:18 am

    • Thanks, Viviene. πŸ˜€ It feels like I could sense your prayer. I’m feeling better each day. So many thanks!

      August 21, 2012 at 7:01 pm

  6. Oh dear. It sure sounded bad.

    Both the pain and the stress that you are dealing with.

    Do take care.

    I hope you get to find a relief over the stress you are facing at work.

    Get better, stay happy!

    August 21, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    • Thanks dear πŸ˜€
      I’m fine now after two weeks off work, resting at home.

      August 30, 2012 at 11:03 am

  7. Great work Cristina πŸ™‚

    August 22, 2012 at 6:08 am

  8. I wish you a fast recovery my friend. Having pain and feeling sick is hard. Just a day ago, I felt pain on my right hand which I used for work and everything. Scary event. But as you said, ” FIND THAT WHEN WE LEARN TO KEEP OUR MIND FOCUS AT THE MOMENT OF NOW, THE ILLUSIONS OF THE PAST AND WORRIES ABOUT THE FUTURE WILL ALL BE DISSOLVED.” I did feel better the next day and I tried to keep my mind off the fear. Thanks.

    August 22, 2012 at 10:25 am

    • Good to hear that. Inner peace will bring us back to balance. πŸ™‚ I’m glad that you feel better and I wish you all the happiness, peace, well being and healthy.

      August 30, 2012 at 11:21 am

  9. Wise words, ristinw.
    Keep up with the meditating. Being relaxed is almost always a good way to go!

    August 23, 2012 at 4:31 am

    • Yeap. I just found lots of benefits practicing meditation. I’ll keep it up. ^^

      August 30, 2012 at 11:10 am

  10. Phew! Glad to hear you’re on the mend!

    I’ve been hearing some good stuff about meditation. My mom has recommended it. Apparently they’ve introduced meditation in some elementary schools in Canada and America! How about that, eh? πŸ˜€

    August 28, 2012 at 3:45 am

    • Very interesting! I hope people here will do the same thing in elementary school too. It takes time for a community to raise this awareness. ^ 3 ^

      August 30, 2012 at 11:40 am

  11. Sorry to hear about your stress and the painful manifestation of that. I’m so glad you have found meditation to be a great help. All the very best.

    September 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm

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