“Starting Out The Marriage Journey – I will be there, no matter what.”
Location: Wanaka, New Zealand
Photographed by: Kylin Image
We are still alive! Yey! Thankful to God and to those who constantly pray for the world! We are alive. Happy New Era of 2012.12.21!!!
😀 😀 😀
Last night I had a super weird dream in which I had experienced several false awakenings at the same night in a same dream. The dream was quite long. To save your time, I’m going to share the last part of it. Here we go.
LAST PART OF A STRANGE DREAM THAT I HAD AT THE FIRST DAY OF THE NEW ERA OF 2012.12.21. 😀
From my Dream Diary:
Time between 3 a.m. to 8 a.m.
“…Ken and I were going to an exhibition hall. I guess it was the exhibition of Titanic. The entrance of the exhibition was hard to find. I saw a sign post pointing to the right it was The Human Body Exhibition. Then, I thought to myself, “If that way is tho The Human Body Exhibition, I guess that the opposite direction should be the way to the exhibition of Titanic.”
I turned around, then I saw a man was walking to the side door. I guess that was used for access to the showroom. The man was wearing a green color t-shirt. He opened the door. Ken and I ran as fast as we could to get in the place. We approached that man before he left the place. He noticed us. Then, he gave us tickets and reminded us to stamped the tickets before entering the exhibition. I told him that we have tickets already. Ken pulled out a damaged and used ticket out of his pocket and showed it to him. In my mind, I thought that Ken got the ticket by picking up from the ground. And that was only one ticket. How about me? How could I get inside the showroom?
As the exhibition was opened to the public free of charge, that man let us both to get in the place. However, visitors still need to get a ticket and get a stamp on it to enter the showroom.
We both got in. A second later, Ken disappeared.
I found myself inside a lady’s room washing my hands. On my left, there was a white haired woman who looked like she was in her sixties or seventies, looking at me impatiently. I ignored her and I continued to wash my hands happily in the lady’s room. Suddenly, I got lucidity! As the door of the lady’s room was always opened, I looked outside and I saw another white haired woman in a room in the opposite site of the corridor. Then, I caught a glimpse of the third white haired woman in the corridor. I was still washing my hands. The place seemed like to be some kind of hotel or some kind of place for seniors to hang out for a short period of time, like for a couple of hours. I knew I was in my dream. The water made me lucid. I stopped washing hands. I grabbed both of the shoulders of the white haired woman who was near me. I asked her to reveal the real reality to me. I grabbed her and I grabbed her tightly. She didn’t say anything to me. Her human form faded away and transformed into something else, grey color. I was still grabbing her, but now she was nothing but something looked like mud and ashes. They were all fake human body. They were all unreal. I looked at the mirror. My reflection just looked exactly the same as I do in waking life. I looked at my own reflection. I placed my both hands together. Palm to palm. I repeated to myself: “Amitabha…amitabha…please reveal the real truth about reality to me”. I repeated it over and over. The image of myself changed gradually. My long hair became shorter and shorter. I lost weight, became thinner and thinner… I saw there was something on my skin, a character…I woke up. (I thought I woke up, but I didn’t.)
I saw my father was sitting in the living room watching TV, and my mother was about to go inside the bathroom to take a bath. The arrangement of the furniture in the house looked differently from the arrangement in waking state. (In the dream I didn’t notice it and didn’t find it weird.) I recounted the story of the dream which I had had to my mother. I told her the dream from the beginning to the part in which I got lucidity and then to the part in which I saw a character attached on my skin when I looked at the mirror. Before I could finish recounting all the details about the dream to my mother, I suddenly, caught a glimpse of something, with red pants, hiding at the top corner of the bathroom. Then, I realized that I was still in a dream. The thing I saw at the top corner of the bathroom had got human body shape, whole skin covered by animal hair, light brown and grey color. It was impossible to have that kind of creature in waking state, and that was the clue which made me to realize that I was still dreaming. I ran to the balcony and jumped out the house and flew away. I had a sensation that I was moving out from my physical body. That sensation remained for seconds.
I woke up. I was in my own bedroom laying on my bed with my eyes closed. I heard the mantra “amitabha” was playing over and over inside my bedroom. I guess that time I was finally awake. (but I wasn’t)
Seconds after, I was in somewhere else recounting the previous dream to a person. I told that person I was dreaming one night, then woke up in the next morning recounting the dream to my mother, but the part in which I recounted the dream to my mother and then saw a creature in the bathroom as a clue to wake myself up was also a part of the dream. I told that person I had experienced false awakenings. My subconscious mind wanted me to remember the dream after “real awake”. I had a weak memory, and that was why the subconscious mind needed to create false awakenings along the “long journey in the dream” to prevent forgetting the dreams.
Seconds after, I was at the backstreet of Leal Senado Square. It was at dusk, between 6 to 7 pm. I saw a very weird living being on the street. He didn’t look like an human being. Although he had got an human body shape but he seemed to be from other realm. That moment, I thought I must still being trapped in the dream. I haven’t really awoke!!!
I lifted myself up off the ground and grabbed that person’s hair firmly and threw him away to the wall. I looked at him. He looked at me. Then, I received a telepathic message from an high level of intelligence being (seemed like a formless being). The sender was very friendly. She/He informed me that even in the state of dreaming, I COULD NOT DO ANYTHING HARMFUL NOR DISRESPECTFUL TO ANYBODY OR ANY BEING THAT I ENCOUNTER. She/He suggested me to apologize to the “being” I had hurt. Otherwise, he would come after me no matter what.
I didn’t want any trouble, so I apologized to the being. I didn’t know if he forgives me or not.
There were so many different kind of “beings” on the street. They all looked creepy. I didn’t know what they are. I felt quite annoying, cause I had been waking up several of times but all of them were false awakenings. I was trapped in the dream, and the feeling was quite awful. I looked at the sky, hoping to escape from this weird state of dream, I called out “Mike Shinoda! Mike Shinoda! (he is an artist and musician who I admire in waking state). It didn’t work, I was still in the same place. I knew I was still in a dream and wondered how it could possibly happen.
I climbed up to the roof trying to avoid those strange beings. As I was climbing up, I received a message in which explained how things were happened.
“THE MOMENT WHEN I AM LUCID IS THE MOMENT I REALIZE I’M IN A DREAM, AND THE MOMENT WHEN I LOSE LUCIDITY IS THE MOMENT I THINK I AM AWAKE.”
I jumped to the ground from the roof, finding more “strange human-like being” trying to approach me. I created a long whip with soft balls attached on both edges of the whip to protect myself from them to get near my comfort zone.
I spin the whip in circle. After several rounds, the whip was lost. I grabbed what I saw on the ground. It was a long wooden Kung Fu stick. I spin it in circle avoiding them.
Minutes later, the scene had changed. I found myself peacefully in somewhere else. The place was spacious and was bright. It was look like a hall. I saw a long and spacious spiral wooden staircases which goes to upstairs. Along the staircases, on the handrails at the left hand side, there I saw so many pack of files. They were all information. I thought to myself, “So many things to read and to see in here. I don’t have enough memory and capacity to take in all of those information. The numbers are like infinity.” I took one of the file from one of the packs and read it. The information card was made with a transparent plastic thin card with a photo and words written in black color on each of the card. All of the cards were placing tidily on the handrails along the long staircases. The information of the card in which I was holding belonged to a man. I saw something like 19×1. Also, the number 5 and 7 also appeared on the information card. I couldn’t remember what I saw. I thought to myself, “I hope to share what I have experience with Miss Fan. I will not remember the things I am seeing at the moment, cause the amount of information in this place is far beyond my memory capacity. All I could remember is the structure of this spiral staircase, and how these information are beautifully being stored in the handrails of the stairs.”
I woke up.
I finally woke up.
From my dream diary:
Last night I was having this dream:
“It was daytime. Overcast.
That was my first time to be in that place, where everything and everyone around looked was so unfamiliar to me.
I was happy and excited to explore the place. I walked up the slope. Two unfamiliar male figures walked down the slope and passed me by. They noticed me but I didn’t know them at all. I gradually became semi-lucid, then I started to know that I was in a dream set. I was little excited and then I started asking people if that place was real. I looked at everything around me and approached them and touched them. Everything I touched was quite in details. I could feel the sense of touch of every object. I poked a pink color ball and I could felt its softness. I touched the wall and I could felt its hardness and roughness of its surface. That sensation was just as real as in waking life. I saw the owner of the store. He was a male. I asked him if everything here was real. At the same time I touched the ice-cream fridge in front of him and I could sensed its cold temperature and then I immediately placed my finger on one of my ear, my right ear, and felt my body heat through my ear. That experience was incredible. The owner told me that everything was real. I was very happy and excited about the experience I have had.
After having fun with touching objects and everything around me, I left the store happily. I looked at far away. It was a seaside. The place now seemed like in London to me. It started raining. Few tourists around. I felt the wind was getting stronger as I approached near the seaside. I turned back, but still wanted to go near it. Cause there were things located around the seaside which attracted me to go near it. Colorful tourists cars, street food store, many beautiful street lamps and lights. I attempted to walk near it. The wind was getting and getting real strong and tough and I couldn’t get near anymore. I stopped walking further and looked up the sky. Heavy and very dark clouds above the sky. It looked like they were coming here soon. Those clouds were really dark and looked so dense. Also, a full moon appeared in the sky. I didn’t know why, but I had a feeling that those dark clouds were coming from the east.
I turned back. The wind stopped blowing. I walked towards the west.
I was going to London. I asked people to show me the way. I didn’t remember the conversation between me and the first person I met in the street. Then, I saw the second person, who was running in the street. We all were going at the same direction. I ran with her and asked her if she was also going to London. I didn’t remember what she told me. But it felt like that she told me to keep heading straight. The place where I was looking for was just lying ahead. She was in a hurry to school. I let her go then said goodbye to her. I stopped running. I continued to walk.
The path was quite straight. The place made me feel like as if I was in London. On my left hand side, there were shops, hotels and restaurants. People were on the street. On my right hand side, there was a main street for vehicles.
Seconds later, I came to a restaurant where I saw people who were having dinner together and singing halleluya repeatedly. I saw myself carrying an empty bottle of mineral water, waving it in the air. I joined the people and sang with them. I then looked around and noticed that the end of the road was an half-rounded shaped “U” turn. I checked around to look for path beyond this place. I didn’t see it. That was the destination. Nowhere else to go. I felt quite strange about it.
I woke up, but still dreaming. Daytime. I was on the street sitting on a sofa with my parents and boyfriend and other people. I told my boyfriend what had happened last night in the dream. (I counted the story from the beginning to him) When I was about to tell him the part about the heavy and dark clouds above the sky, he felt asleep. I felt annoyed. I stood up and walked to other side of the street. Standing alone. Feeling angry. My father laughed and told my boyfriend better to not listen to my nonsense. Later, the anger feeling had passed. I checked them out. They were gone. Then I saw them hiding. They were hiding and wanted to play hide and seek with me. They all looked happily. When they noticed that I knew they were here hiding, they came out one by one and walked across the street. The first person came out was a stranger. He was my father’s friend. He looked like an Indian. Then, the second person was my uncle. Then, my mom, my boyfriend. The last person I saw was a 6 or 7 year old Indian boy. He looked at me and told me that he was interesting in my dream. He wanted to hear about the rest of the story. I was happy, I finally could find someone who pays attention to my dream.”
The music track describes a person who indulges in the surreal images and sensations in the dreamland. He is completely lost and he doesn’t know he is dreaming. As everything in the dream world looks so beautiful, tempting and quite real, he even resist to believe that it is just a dream and not real. After a while, when this person is becoming lucid, he starts to feel there is something wrong with the world he is being trapped in. He is aware that he is dreaming. Then, all he wants to do is to wake up. He struggles. He wakes up, and wakes up, but still he is in the dream. His awareness is weak. He falls back in the dream.
Just imagine what would be like if our waking life is also a dream…
Dreams are great portal to our inner self, deepest emotion, creativity and to the unknown. The thoughts and feelings which were being neglected or suppressed in waking state are constantly exposed in the dreams. For some people, thoughts and feelings are reflected directly to them, but for others, thoughts and feelings are presented in symbolic forms or in disguises.
I have a tendency to speak indirectly. Not all the time, but in some occasions when I would like to get myself something or ask somebody for help. Like, when I’m getting thirsty and want to have a drink, instead of saying directly to my friend that I need a drink, I would ask, “Are you thirsty?” or say something like, “Why isn’t here any vending machine?” Or in situation like when I was being asked about subject regarded to my own feelings or deepest thoughts, I may not tell a straight forward answer. I have to wander off the subject, and reveal the answer piece by piece. Most of the time, people are still wondering the meaning of my answer. I’m neither hiding any truth nor being dishonest, in fact, this is the way how I like to communicate with people.
Like in the dreams. Images and words we see in the dream world don’t exactly mean what they mean. The true meaning is well hidden. We have to uncover it, like unfolding the layers of the onions. Layer by layer. Piece by piece. Once we peel off all the layers, we see the core. Then, we start to realize how things work and why things are hidden in that way, and finally, we decipher the meaning of our own dreams. Once we understand the dream world, we will understand ourselves in a more complete form.
Have a nice weekend, everyone! 😀
Camera: Canon EOS 450D
Photo created on April 14, 2012.